One with, One without

S was Diagnosed in 2003, when he was 3, with High functioning autism. Now he comes across as any other boy, makes jokes, plays games and watches spongebob. Its not apparent he has a difficulty so people either think he is naughtly, has odd ways, or do not take us seriously.
He is like any other boy...and he has autism.
E was born in 2005, and does not have autism. He acts in ways that I had no idea about, laughs at my jokes, acts like a clown, plays with toys and watches spongebob too.
He is like any other boy...just like his brother
This is my musings, experiances, and anything else as the mum of one son with autism, and one son without it. I hope it makes a difference.

School Report

Its been a terrible half term. Ive had both children shouting at me in each ear all week. Needless to say, ive had a headache!

S had a bad day Thursday. His friend knocked, they went out to play with their lightsabers and 15 minutes later S was back in. He said his friend wanted to swop lightsabers, S said no so the friend went in! S was very very upset and revert back to baby talk ( for the rest of the week actually)

We had a mini halloween party on friday and he cheered up, and even took part in some games. He was histerical playing musical statues.... if I didnt know any better I would say he was doing Dad Dancing!! he won some prizes so he was most happy!

Back to school tomorrow tho....

So in S's new middle school we get a mini report every term/half term. Its shows his sats levels. This is all new to me so serveral phone calls to friends later, i understand it all....well ish.

Basically a 9 year old should be around the 3a mark in all subjects (if ive got this wrong, please tell me!)some are gonna be above that (4a ) some below (2a)

S was 3a in science, PE and music which was great! He was 2a in maths and 1a in english. Now from what I can gather 1a means hes about 2/3 years behind. I knew that, so no surprise there. I was really pleased at the higher ones tho, and considering he hated PE in primary school, he loves it now!

He is getting better with englsh, he is getting all his spellings right which is really boosting his confidence. and he wants to do them.

The god awfull battle of wills that went on trying to get him to read or do any homework at home have vanished. It also helps that they get a 5 minute detention if they dont do their homwwork!!

The new school has been great so far, hes really made progres and actually said to me "why do they help me more in this school?"

I think that says it all really.

Im seeing the head of SENCO tuesday, funnily enough she taught me at that school and remembers me so it makes it a whole lot easier.if theres any thing to report...I will !!

(if you see any typos, sorry! for some reason the spell checker has disapeared?!)

Support!!

Well I never! Today I had a visit from a parent support worker. It seems she has been about for a year or so but I've only just found out about her!
She was lovely and exactly what I need. She's there to deal with anything, autism, school, housing, money, and me! Even if I just want to moan at her... I can!!
It seems finally I've meet someone that is their to help.. Opposed to the "fill a form in, nah we can't actually help you" that I normally get.

Saying that, all is ok at the moment, S is doing well at school and already making progress. He got 5 spellings right last week whereas at last school the maximum ever he got was around 1!
He's also playing out alot and hurting himself with it! Nothing serious but more cuts and scrapes in the past 2 weeks than we've ever had!

So things feel a bit better knowing that I have someone that understands autism and that I can call anytime for anything, instead of just me sitting here trying to work it all out. Now I have someone I can talk it through with.

Happy days!!!

-- Posted from my iPhone

I phone blogging!!

This is sort of a test, and also a post as I've just got an app to let me blog from my iPhone... So here goes!!

We had S's hearing test today. Never a simple explanation with us! His hearing is fine, but for some reason he is lip Reading, and according to him, if he's looking at you then he hears you louder... If that makes sense!!

So the nice women testing him seem bemused as so why he's doing it... Is it the autism or is there something else... A problem processing the sound when it gets to his brain?
They are gonna test him again in 6 months so I'm just gonna leave things as he's happy enough unless something drastic happens.
He has settled in well to the new school and seems very grown up already... Mind you he's not had any homework yet so that may change!

As for me, I start my next open university course in a couple of weeks... Creative wrtiting... So I should have lots to write about when we get to the life writing part.. Maybe I will write a book based on this blog after all..!

Thanks for reading ( if this new app worked and you can see it!)
-- Posted from my iPhone

Deaf...? what did you say?

Hello!
As I said in my last post, I'm only gonna post if anything happens....and a couple of things have occurred which, I thought I would post about. ( we live a very uneventful life really!!)

The other week we all went to one of the museum's in Cambridge. It all started out well, we went on the bus, fine, got off and went into town, fine, then S said can I look in the Disney shop for a new Woody. Hes always been into Toy story, and we have LOADS of Woody's!
I said ok because he had turned the last one into Rimmer from red dwarf (drew a H on his forehead!) and we couldn't get it off, so he wanted a new one.

So I bought him one and he got it out he box etc and from that point on, it all went a bit downhill. He turned in to Autistic S, his body language changed, he became very ridgid in his movements, his speech became very toddler like. OK so its not really down hill but- before I had bought him the Woody, he was acting just like any other child.

TO cut a long story short, he got a bit bored in the museum in the end, and he also said he was scared in there so we went to the shop and I got a few little things, and I turned round and there he was, crying his eyes out! I sat him down asking him whats the matter and in between the crying he said he wanted a fan and couldn't have one because I had already bought him stuff but he didn't know they were there!! I sat there thinking...."all this crying over a 75p FAN!!
I bought him one and he was absolutely fine, fanning himself because it was hot, and then he started to return to acting like an everyday child, like he was when we got to Cambridge.

Its so bizarre how he can act in different ways, changing suddenly. He's always has been like this since he started school, acts just like the rest of the kids in school, then acts completely different at home, hiding his autism from his peers. I put the change in Cambridge down being out of routine, a new place to visit which he had not been to before, all the usual stuff, but it still amazes me, and makes me wonder if he realises he acts one way, then another so quickly? Although hes been acting quite "baby like" lately because its the holidays.

The second snippet is basically S is of to have another hearing test because we think he may be slightly Deaf. When he was under 5, he had lots of ear infections, and perforated his ear drum twice. At about 6 they tested his hearing and he was deaf in one ear, BUT it resolved itself. so I thought!! The thinking now is that maybe he just got used to it, because the other day I was calling and calling him, and he had his back to me. After shouting at him, he turned round and said to me, all ''matter of fact..."you know I cant hear you unless I'm looking at you"

OMG! well I went to the Doctors, hence the hearing test, which we are waiting for. The Doctor seemed quite convinced that he was maybe lip reading a bit to compensate.
BTW I saw a new Doctor and she was LOVELY!! she took his autism into account, even ASKED ME ABOUT IT!! I nearly fell over in shock!!!!

Ill post about the results of the hearing test, not sure when the appointment is gonna be yet, soon hopefully!! apart from that we are all just milling around waiting for the school hols to finish cos we are BORED!
Oh and Ive taken up knitting socks!! its quite therapeutic really and I'm making cool stripey socks for S at the moment!!

And I almost forgot... I passed my open university course so I now have a Cert. in humanities! woho00oo

Touch wood

Helloo!

I'm still here, but Ive not had much to blog about lately on the autism front.

I don't want to fill this blog up with useless, boring posts, about how I broke my little toe the other day (true, and ow) so there will be times where I don't post for a while, but the blogs still active!!

As I say, nothing much has happened, touch wood, well, I did tell S that I would start giving him pocket money ( hes grasping the money concept well now) if he keep his room tidy.

He said "no, I'm not doing THAT".

I said " right OK then, just don't ask me for any money for the shop."

He hasn't, so that worked well then didn't it!

He also went for a group visit to his new middle school, called a transition group for the kids that may have trouble adjusting to the new school life. He said it was boring because they just went in and out of each classroom, being told what happened in each room. Oh well, I think overall he will be fine, we may have ropey first week, but lets wait and see.

That's it, everything been great, the housing people agreed with my appeal that I should be able to bid on 3 bedroom council houses, (they said I could only bid on 2 bed) so that's sorted, and Ive signed up for my next Open university course - creative writing!! Crikey!

Its twitter and this blogs fault I'm doing it..it seems to have been a natural journey, as I wanted (and people have agreed its a good idea!) to write a autism book, based on this blog, for UK parents. I still want to, but found it hard to organised my thoughts, so hence the course. In the meantime, Ive tumbeled into writing fiction for the first time, and have an idea for a novel about a boy with autism. I'm also writing some short stories, so I'm going to just go with the flow, and see where it all takes me.

Thanks to everyone for all the brilliant comments , they really make my day and encourage me.

So I'll blog when something autism related happens instead of boring you about my little toe or what I had for dinner last night......just follow me on twitter for that!

Learning all over again

Its really quite strange, but I knew that my youngest son E, didn't have autism from the moment he was born!

He looked at me, that's it. No sixth sense or anything, he just looked at me. As the weeks and months progressed, it was obvious he didn't have autism, and it was a completely new concept for me to get my head around!

It still amazes me today at the things that my youngest does, things that most parents take for granted. I never took anything for granted with S, and things that children learn automatically, from copying/imitating/instinct, never happened, so I had to teach him. I never realised this until I had my youngest, who learned things on his own, then I realised that S didn't have that ability. (he was my first child so I didn't know any different)
S rarely looked at me as a baby/toddler, and when he was older he used to take me by the hand if he wanted something, I was a tool that he could use to obtain things, and then when he got what he needed, I was no longer necessary.
Sounds harsh I know, but that's how it was. There was no emotional attachment, unlike my youngest who looked at me, wanted cuddles, wanted to be with me and wanted to get things for himself, and would only resort to asking me to help him if he couldn't do It!

Even now my youngest wants me to sit with him, do things with him and It took a lot of getting used too! I was used to a child that wanted to be left on his own, didn't make a fuss, or the extreme was having to do strange things or drawing that used to last all day because he would do the same thing over and over again, tantrums because he didn't understand, it was extremes, one or the other, no in between.
I was also used to a child that couldn't speak until around the age of 4, that didn't ask questions, that wasn't interested in going out side to play, or interested in the world around him.

I didn't realise what I, or S to be honest, had missed out on in the early years. My youngest is always playing with toys, pretend playing, cuddling me (that was a new concept for me!) asking questions, trying to write, trying to read...the list is endless.

Having my first child with autism, then one without autism,has been difficult, its taken a long time to adjust to the differences and its been a steep learning curve because I didn't know what a child without autism did! I still ask my friends if E "should be doing this" because I don't know.
In a way its like having a first child and knowing nothing, and learning to be a parent all over again.

Baby face

Ive been busy the past week or so but Ive finally got round to writing a new post!

S has been OK ish the last couple of weeks, although lately Ive noticed he has changed his DVD viewing habits. Hes taken to watching cbeebies DVDs or big cook little cook and pingu. Ok so that's not a bad thing, nothing to worry about really but take that along with the fact that hes been a a little bit different, I'm wondering if there's something up with him.

The "Dark" thing has not been an issue to much, yes all the lights are on and yes he still says "Dark..take me to bed!" but its not a huge impact on our lives.

He has though been quieter than usual at times, being on his own more and showing his "babyface" as i call it. "Baby face" is when he starts to act differently. His facial expression is different, that of a scared toddler, he talks differently, calling me "mama" and his voice sounds all "babyish". He has always done this so I'm used to it. I think its a form of regression, to act like a toddler again, because he finds it difficult being his age, the demands of school etc and its a dam sight easier to act like a baby/toddler. I always wonder if there is a reason that triggers him to act like this, or if its just the way his autism is with him, periods of regression at home and then times when he acts pretty much OK. Ive never been able to find out a reason from him, and I think its because he cannot actually express the way he is feeling. I'm not even sure if he knows himself. I'm leaning towards the ...the way his autism is with him... theory but what with the changes coming up I hope that they don't push him further into a regression.

The big change is coming up in September (I have to start thinking about it now, well actually Ive been thinking about before now!) as he goes to middle school. Ive already had to explain that he will be going every day as he thought it would be only once a week and he would be staying at primary school! The new school have been great so far so I have no worries about him going, he is going to do well and get a lot of support for a change, which will help improve his reading (its a few years behind because he doesn't "do" books) I wonder if he is thinking about changing school, and that is the reason he has changed lately, but when I ask him he says no, and says everything is fine, as usual. I just hope he copes OK with the change after a few weeks of settling in. With support he should do.

So that's it so far, I hope that my ramblings have made sense! I find it quite hard sometimes as everything that S does is "normal" to me, so I have to think "is this worth writing about"! So far, so good though!