One with, One without

S was Diagnosed in 2003, when he was 3, with High functioning autism. Now he comes across as any other boy, makes jokes, plays games and watches spongebob. Its not apparent he has a difficulty so people either think he is naughtly, has odd ways, or do not take us seriously.
He is like any other boy...and he has autism.
E was born in 2005, and does not have autism. He acts in ways that I had no idea about, laughs at my jokes, acts like a clown, plays with toys and watches spongebob too.
He is like any other boy...just like his brother
This is my musings, experiances, and anything else as the mum of one son with autism, and one son without it. I hope it makes a difference.

I phone blogging!!

This is sort of a test, and also a post as I've just got an app to let me blog from my iPhone... So here goes!!

We had S's hearing test today. Never a simple explanation with us! His hearing is fine, but for some reason he is lip Reading, and according to him, if he's looking at you then he hears you louder... If that makes sense!!

So the nice women testing him seem bemused as so why he's doing it... Is it the autism or is there something else... A problem processing the sound when it gets to his brain?
They are gonna test him again in 6 months so I'm just gonna leave things as he's happy enough unless something drastic happens.
He has settled in well to the new school and seems very grown up already... Mind you he's not had any homework yet so that may change!

As for me, I start my next open university course in a couple of weeks... Creative wrtiting... So I should have lots to write about when we get to the life writing part.. Maybe I will write a book based on this blog after all..!

Thanks for reading ( if this new app worked and you can see it!)
-- Posted from my iPhone

Deaf...? what did you say?

Hello!
As I said in my last post, I'm only gonna post if anything happens....and a couple of things have occurred which, I thought I would post about. ( we live a very uneventful life really!!)

The other week we all went to one of the museum's in Cambridge. It all started out well, we went on the bus, fine, got off and went into town, fine, then S said can I look in the Disney shop for a new Woody. Hes always been into Toy story, and we have LOADS of Woody's!
I said ok because he had turned the last one into Rimmer from red dwarf (drew a H on his forehead!) and we couldn't get it off, so he wanted a new one.

So I bought him one and he got it out he box etc and from that point on, it all went a bit downhill. He turned in to Autistic S, his body language changed, he became very ridgid in his movements, his speech became very toddler like. OK so its not really down hill but- before I had bought him the Woody, he was acting just like any other child.

TO cut a long story short, he got a bit bored in the museum in the end, and he also said he was scared in there so we went to the shop and I got a few little things, and I turned round and there he was, crying his eyes out! I sat him down asking him whats the matter and in between the crying he said he wanted a fan and couldn't have one because I had already bought him stuff but he didn't know they were there!! I sat there thinking...."all this crying over a 75p FAN!!
I bought him one and he was absolutely fine, fanning himself because it was hot, and then he started to return to acting like an everyday child, like he was when we got to Cambridge.

Its so bizarre how he can act in different ways, changing suddenly. He's always has been like this since he started school, acts just like the rest of the kids in school, then acts completely different at home, hiding his autism from his peers. I put the change in Cambridge down being out of routine, a new place to visit which he had not been to before, all the usual stuff, but it still amazes me, and makes me wonder if he realises he acts one way, then another so quickly? Although hes been acting quite "baby like" lately because its the holidays.

The second snippet is basically S is of to have another hearing test because we think he may be slightly Deaf. When he was under 5, he had lots of ear infections, and perforated his ear drum twice. At about 6 they tested his hearing and he was deaf in one ear, BUT it resolved itself. so I thought!! The thinking now is that maybe he just got used to it, because the other day I was calling and calling him, and he had his back to me. After shouting at him, he turned round and said to me, all ''matter of fact..."you know I cant hear you unless I'm looking at you"

OMG! well I went to the Doctors, hence the hearing test, which we are waiting for. The Doctor seemed quite convinced that he was maybe lip reading a bit to compensate.
BTW I saw a new Doctor and she was LOVELY!! she took his autism into account, even ASKED ME ABOUT IT!! I nearly fell over in shock!!!!

Ill post about the results of the hearing test, not sure when the appointment is gonna be yet, soon hopefully!! apart from that we are all just milling around waiting for the school hols to finish cos we are BORED!
Oh and Ive taken up knitting socks!! its quite therapeutic really and I'm making cool stripey socks for S at the moment!!

And I almost forgot... I passed my open university course so I now have a Cert. in humanities! woho00oo

Touch wood

Helloo!

I'm still here, but Ive not had much to blog about lately on the autism front.

I don't want to fill this blog up with useless, boring posts, about how I broke my little toe the other day (true, and ow) so there will be times where I don't post for a while, but the blogs still active!!

As I say, nothing much has happened, touch wood, well, I did tell S that I would start giving him pocket money ( hes grasping the money concept well now) if he keep his room tidy.

He said "no, I'm not doing THAT".

I said " right OK then, just don't ask me for any money for the shop."

He hasn't, so that worked well then didn't it!

He also went for a group visit to his new middle school, called a transition group for the kids that may have trouble adjusting to the new school life. He said it was boring because they just went in and out of each classroom, being told what happened in each room. Oh well, I think overall he will be fine, we may have ropey first week, but lets wait and see.

That's it, everything been great, the housing people agreed with my appeal that I should be able to bid on 3 bedroom council houses, (they said I could only bid on 2 bed) so that's sorted, and Ive signed up for my next Open university course - creative writing!! Crikey!

Its twitter and this blogs fault I'm doing it..it seems to have been a natural journey, as I wanted (and people have agreed its a good idea!) to write a autism book, based on this blog, for UK parents. I still want to, but found it hard to organised my thoughts, so hence the course. In the meantime, Ive tumbeled into writing fiction for the first time, and have an idea for a novel about a boy with autism. I'm also writing some short stories, so I'm going to just go with the flow, and see where it all takes me.

Thanks to everyone for all the brilliant comments , they really make my day and encourage me.

So I'll blog when something autism related happens instead of boring you about my little toe or what I had for dinner last night......just follow me on twitter for that!

Learning all over again

Its really quite strange, but I knew that my youngest son E, didn't have autism from the moment he was born!

He looked at me, that's it. No sixth sense or anything, he just looked at me. As the weeks and months progressed, it was obvious he didn't have autism, and it was a completely new concept for me to get my head around!

It still amazes me today at the things that my youngest does, things that most parents take for granted. I never took anything for granted with S, and things that children learn automatically, from copying/imitating/instinct, never happened, so I had to teach him. I never realised this until I had my youngest, who learned things on his own, then I realised that S didn't have that ability. (he was my first child so I didn't know any different)
S rarely looked at me as a baby/toddler, and when he was older he used to take me by the hand if he wanted something, I was a tool that he could use to obtain things, and then when he got what he needed, I was no longer necessary.
Sounds harsh I know, but that's how it was. There was no emotional attachment, unlike my youngest who looked at me, wanted cuddles, wanted to be with me and wanted to get things for himself, and would only resort to asking me to help him if he couldn't do It!

Even now my youngest wants me to sit with him, do things with him and It took a lot of getting used too! I was used to a child that wanted to be left on his own, didn't make a fuss, or the extreme was having to do strange things or drawing that used to last all day because he would do the same thing over and over again, tantrums because he didn't understand, it was extremes, one or the other, no in between.
I was also used to a child that couldn't speak until around the age of 4, that didn't ask questions, that wasn't interested in going out side to play, or interested in the world around him.

I didn't realise what I, or S to be honest, had missed out on in the early years. My youngest is always playing with toys, pretend playing, cuddling me (that was a new concept for me!) asking questions, trying to write, trying to read...the list is endless.

Having my first child with autism, then one without autism,has been difficult, its taken a long time to adjust to the differences and its been a steep learning curve because I didn't know what a child without autism did! I still ask my friends if E "should be doing this" because I don't know.
In a way its like having a first child and knowing nothing, and learning to be a parent all over again.

Baby face

Ive been busy the past week or so but Ive finally got round to writing a new post!

S has been OK ish the last couple of weeks, although lately Ive noticed he has changed his DVD viewing habits. Hes taken to watching cbeebies DVDs or big cook little cook and pingu. Ok so that's not a bad thing, nothing to worry about really but take that along with the fact that hes been a a little bit different, I'm wondering if there's something up with him.

The "Dark" thing has not been an issue to much, yes all the lights are on and yes he still says "Dark..take me to bed!" but its not a huge impact on our lives.

He has though been quieter than usual at times, being on his own more and showing his "babyface" as i call it. "Baby face" is when he starts to act differently. His facial expression is different, that of a scared toddler, he talks differently, calling me "mama" and his voice sounds all "babyish". He has always done this so I'm used to it. I think its a form of regression, to act like a toddler again, because he finds it difficult being his age, the demands of school etc and its a dam sight easier to act like a baby/toddler. I always wonder if there is a reason that triggers him to act like this, or if its just the way his autism is with him, periods of regression at home and then times when he acts pretty much OK. Ive never been able to find out a reason from him, and I think its because he cannot actually express the way he is feeling. I'm not even sure if he knows himself. I'm leaning towards the ...the way his autism is with him... theory but what with the changes coming up I hope that they don't push him further into a regression.

The big change is coming up in September (I have to start thinking about it now, well actually Ive been thinking about before now!) as he goes to middle school. Ive already had to explain that he will be going every day as he thought it would be only once a week and he would be staying at primary school! The new school have been great so far so I have no worries about him going, he is going to do well and get a lot of support for a change, which will help improve his reading (its a few years behind because he doesn't "do" books) I wonder if he is thinking about changing school, and that is the reason he has changed lately, but when I ask him he says no, and says everything is fine, as usual. I just hope he copes OK with the change after a few weeks of settling in. With support he should do.

So that's it so far, I hope that my ramblings have made sense! I find it quite hard sometimes as everything that S does is "normal" to me, so I have to think "is this worth writing about"! So far, so good though!

lovely blog award..no2!!

Ive just been given this award by sandy . Shes a new blogger and is doing great so far so please pop over and visit her.

So thanks sandy, I am very grateful . So now that I have more time for blogging, I will pass it on. Here are the rules!

Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

Pass the award to 10 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So here are my top ten blogs that Ive discovered over the past few weeks:

motherofshrek

another day in the madhouse

okesanne

Dealing with the day

little finch feathers

clareybabbling

3 bedroom bungalow

and one more means four

ms. s. tonins blog

how to survive life in the suburbs

I hope you all enjoy these blogs, go visit them!!!!

I cant fix doors.

Today, S woke up with a temperature, the washing machine broke, (although its fixed now)and my 3 year old had a temper tantrum and slammed the door so hard it managed to get wedged and he got locked in the living room.

I managed to get a screw driver and "unlock" him. I then decided to try and fix said door, so un-screwed the door handle to realise that I had no idea what I was actually doing, so just screwed the dam thing back on again.
S got a bit upset cos I was shouting at E "you've gone and locked yourself I...arrggghhh I cant get you out!!" etc etc. He was concerned with the fact that "someone" was locked in "somewhere".

My 3year old is now playing with play-doh, S is still ill and dozing and whilst writing this after everything has calmed down..Ive realised Ive not actually had time to eat anything today (3 year old had a plate of sandwiches, carrot, cucumber, ham and cheese for tea!) so I'm off to make sausage sandwiches...cos that's what I want!!